Seminar Part 9

Another necessary ingredient in the strategy of this game is your mood. No excuses! We are almost finished with this class so make sure that you are reading these post over and over until it sinks in.

3. HIGH SPIRITS, CHEERFULNESS AND HAPPINESS
are ABSOLUTELY necessary ingredients in this game. I found this on the internet and I love it: A Prayer For Happiness May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content knowing that you are a child of God. Let His presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, and to bask in the sun.

It is there for each and every one of you. Whenever you do something for your spouse, do it gladly, immediately and exactly the way they want it. The moment you decide to do something for them that you normally would not do, make up your mind, be sure that it is absolutely your choice to do this, that you do not expect anything in return, not even a 'thank you', and that you will do it the best you can, not just merely do it. Remember that you've stopped being grouchy, controlling, nagging, complaining etc., and that you are now adopting a strategy of doing things quite the opposite to what they were, for example, instead of saying: "Here is your _______ coffee," and throwing the cup on the table, you say: "How much sugar would you like?" whistling your favorite song. Get the picture? Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well, someone said. "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." (Ephesians 4:29)

Words spoken in anger or frustration have damaged more than one relationship. Choosing to speak in such a way that builds others up is a key component of healthy relationships. If you are not in a conversation, be cheerful. Show that you are happy with your life at this moment, that your happiness does not depend on your spouse's actions or inactions. YOU DO NOT NEED THEM. Show it by being happy. Your spouse likes you to be happy. They like a "happy you", not a "grouchy you". It draws them closer. No man has ever left a happy woman. You did not get together in the first place because you logically assessed the situation as well as each other and only then logically decided to fall in love. Did you? You were 'happy together.' No one wants to fight unless provoked, threatened and/or afraid. Avoid being threatening in any way and refrain from being provoked and feeling threatened. Always remember that you do not need your spouse. Being happy is just as easily done as said. Try it and practice it. It is your choice from moment to moment. Happiness is a matter of now, of the present moment. You cannot be happy in the future or in the past. Pray for your ability to be independent, peaceful, confident and generous.

I'm going to give you another awareness exercise: What do you achieve by being unhappy and grouchy? You do get something out of it. Some kind of satisfaction. What is it? Look deep and hard. What are the results in the quality of YOUR life when you are unhappy and grouchy? Compare what you are getting vs. what you are sacrificing. Read this two more times and be honest!