Apologies Are Free

This is the first in a series of posts that make up a marriage seminar by our pastor. I will be creating a new page strictly for these posts entitled "Seminar." This will be moved to the Seminar page.

Posted by our Pastor

I realize that not all can attend a marriage seminar so I am giving you the very same thing you would get by attending ours... By all the replies I've received there are some hurting people and hurting marriages. I don't feel like it's fair to make people wait when they need help now. All that I am doing in these daily posts is giving you a simple guide for repairing your marriage, providing that you really want to have a healthy, loving and satisfying marriage, and you are willing to give up some of your old destructive techniques, practices and behaviors. Besides a healthy marriage, you are going to experience spiritual and personal growth, higher self-esteem and a much more satisfying life just by following the simple instructions in these post.

"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you" (Ephesians 4:32).

Relationships do not survive without kindness and forgiveness. As Christ has forgiven us even though we don't deserve it, we should also forgive others even when they are truly wrong. In the next few posts we are going to address what works and what does not work, specifically in the marriage with your husband and even boyfriend, or fiancé. You will also get some awareness exercises, which may give you insights into your own behavior and practices that you may not have been aware of and which do not serve you or your marriage.

Before you start "Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed" (James 5:16 paraphrased). You may not even be in touch with your "ex", or he does not talk to you. If this is your situation the first thing to do is to get back in communication with him so that you can use these posts. The best way to do this is to apologize – in person (it’s the best), by phone, e-mail or mail - for whatever you did wrong. Do not make up reasons or excuses, and say that you have promised to yourself and the world that you will never do it again. This is important: you have to actually MEAN it, believe it and keep your word about it, otherwise no one else will believe you. (Keep in mind that you may have promised things in the past and not kept your promise.)When I say apologize, I do not mean to merely say that you are "sorry." They already know that. Most likely you have said it before. What I do mean is use the word "apologize" instead of "sorry." Apologies do not cost anything. Also, do not apologize with an agenda of getting him back. This will become clearer as we go on. Do not do anything before you finish reading ALL the posts and I will tell you when. But what you can do is start praying that God will prepare you to do the things that will need to be done at that time. I pray and hope that these posts have given you some hope in your marriage. God Bless!