(Will be moved to Seminar page)
So let's do some work now. Since you're been reading these post and treating them as marriage counseling classes, I am going to presume that you have been doing everything in your power to save your marriage and you have not exactly succeeded. I'm sure that you did your best. Now, you may not know what to do next or, you do know that you've tried everything and there is nothing else you can do. Don't jump to conclusions just yet. First of all lets see what you've been doing. What strategies and behaviors have you tried so far? Here are some examples. See which ones you can recognize as yours.
explaining…reasoning…pressuring…being depressed...more "loving"
promising change…threatening…begging…whining…bribing…arguing blaming…justifying…asking…pleading…avoiding…reassuring...dominating
avoiding being dominated…being in therapy and/or counseling…hoping
expecting them to change…expecting something…being in a bad mood and/or depressed…moralizing…throwing fits and tantrums…pushing...being angry having expectations…being a victim…complaining…swearing…judging...making them wrong…being disrespectful condescending...seeking help from friends, etc.
I am sure you can find your actions among these and feel free to add your own. Here's another awareness exercise: Underline the ones that sound familiar, then think for a moment and try to remember what outcomes you've achieved so far with the strategies and behaviors you have been using. It may help if you write them down. (Be honest) If you have concluded that everything you have tried so far has not really worked, that there has been no major shift in the quality of your marriage, and now you don't know what you could possibly do more or differently, don't despair, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
explaining…reasoning…pressurin
promising change…threatening…begging…whi
avoiding being dominated…being in therapy and/or counseling…hoping
expecting them to change…expecting something…being in a bad mood and/
I am sure you can find your actions among these and feel free to add your own. Here's another awareness exercise: Underline the ones that sound familiar, then think for a moment and try to remember what outcomes you've achieved so far with the strategies and behaviors you have been using. It may help if you write them down. (Be honest) If you have concluded that everything you have tried so far has not really worked, that there has been no major shift in the quality of your marriage, and now you don't know what you could possibly do more or differently, don't despair, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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