Friends & Family

(Will be moved to The Seminar page)

"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband"(Ephesians 5:33).

I want to share something about your family and friends. Our family and friends often try to help us resolve the differences with our spouses. How often do they succeed? Rarely. They most likely have not taken marriage classes either. In times of conflict with your husband/wife (who is now quickly becoming your enemy) your family and friends "support you" by basically taking your side. That's what family does and that's what friends are for. The way they see it is as a friend's duty to "take your side" in an apparent "war" against your husband/wife. That doesn't seem to be the best way to go about resolving your differences, does it? Those are most often the strategies for winning, or at least for not losing, a war. These posts are not about war. It's about peace, the way Christ professed it. World peace starts at home, with your marriage. These daily post are truly about DISSOLVING conflict and building a firm foundation for a healthy marriage.

"But at the beginning of creation God `made them male and female` For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife" (Mark 10:6).

This Verse clearly states that your husband/wife comes before your mother/father. Although it was written for men, it does apply to women as well. So, do not say anything bad about your husband/wife to your mother, or to anyone else for that matter.
Don't blame your family and friends for trying to help, though. Practice compassion. You asked for it in the first place, remember? Love them but do not follow their advice. In fact, don't even complain to them. They cannot remedy your situation. Only you can. If you are looking for sound advice, they cannot give it because they are too close to you. They may mean well, but they simply don't know; they learned from their parents and their parents learned from their parents, etc., who also didn't know. It goes down through generations. If you are honest with yourself you will see that by complaining you are just looking to your friends to support your point of view. It is very human to complain to your friends, but unfortunately not very effective. If you want your friends to support you, ask them to support your actions from what The Bible teaches and from these daily posts, even if they do not agree or understand how it works. Ask them to remind you of the above quote. Gossip is deadly, but prayer is healing. Pray for the strength and clarity of mind for yourself and your husband. Pray for peace and practice it. God Bless!