I am going to put this lesson in three different posts because I want you to read all three over and over and over until you understand each. Then there will be an awareness exercise. In this post, I am going to give you the first of four rules of a winning game. So hang on and let's get going!
1. STOP DOING WHATEVER YOU'VE BEEN DOING SO FAR THAT DID NOT WORK. (Check the list in the past post)
"Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"
(Proverbs 16:18). "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results." – Rita Mae Brown
Even by just stopping whatever you've been doing before and not doing anything else instead, you will produce positive results. Easier said than done, you say. Well, it takes some thinking, practice and faith to become aware of your actions, to catch yourself in the act, to break the habit of being and living on automatic.
Here is another awareness exercise: Just notice when you have the urge to react, when your buttons are pushed and then when you find the reasons and justifications to react in one of the ways mentioned in the prior post. You may even react and not be able to stop yourself at first. It is very important though, that you become aware of your knee-jerk reactions to your spouse's actions, words, and even to your own thoughts. Read this two more times. Read it again after every conversation with your spouse that sounded confrontational and left you with a somewhat bitter taste in your mouth.
In order to take step number two you always want to be aware of two concepts. They will help you be real and authentic and deal with confronting situations with more power, grace and self-confidence.
1. STOP DOING WHATEVER YOU'VE BEEN DOING SO FAR THAT DID NOT WORK. (Check the list in the past post)
"Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"
(Proverbs 16:18). "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results." – Rita Mae Brown
Even by just stopping whatever you've been doing before and not doing anything else instead, you will produce positive results. Easier said than done, you say. Well, it takes some thinking, practice and faith to become aware of your actions, to catch yourself in the act, to break the habit of being and living on automatic.
Here is another awareness exercise: Just notice when you have the urge to react, when your buttons are pushed and then when you find the reasons and justifications to react in one of the ways mentioned in the prior post. You may even react and not be able to stop yourself at first. It is very important though, that you become aware of your knee-jerk reactions to your spouse's actions, words, and even to your own thoughts. Read this two more times. Read it again after every conversation with your spouse that sounded confrontational and left you with a somewhat bitter taste in your mouth.
In order to take step number two you always want to be aware of two concepts. They will help you be real and authentic and deal with confronting situations with more power, grace and self-confidence.
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