Challenge #4

Good morning all, Happy Saturday! :-)
Hopefully you all were able to do at least one kind thing for your spouse yesterday, even if it was something as simple as making them a cup of coffee!

With it being the weekend, many of you will be spending more time with your spouses today than you would during the regular work week. So today's challenge will be a little more difficult for some (if not all). Today, we are going to choose our words more carefully - be sure not to say anything negative to your spouse today. That includes things that are not themselves inherently negative, but would be perceived as negative by your spouse in particular! So if your spouse hasn't washed the dishes, taken out the trash, mowed the lawn, or taken down the Christmas lights like you asked - let it ride today. Commit yourself to not saying anything negative!!! Remember, you don't have to remind them to do things - this could be perceived as negative. Are you trying to crack the whip on your spouse? Lol!

Hope you all have a wonderful day and complete this challenge with ease!

Do These Things Really Help?

(This will be moved to the Pastoral Insight page)
Shared by our Pastor:

 

I left off... saying something like we've been educated about everything under the sun but no one ever explained marriage. So, in essence, we are left to fend for ourselves with desperate prayers and occasional help from family and friends who are often not any better educated in this area than we are. From the day we are born, we’re forced to develop relationships with people, and sadly, the trial and error approach results in many errors that leave deep wounds. More often than not, we react to our spouses in ways that do not serve our marriage or even our own selfish needs. Nonetheless, we do it over and over again, hoping for different results. The Bible does teach us how to maintain happy, healthy, and godly marriages, but how often we forget or neglect these teachings. No one is perfect, so it’s only natural that we’d make some mistakes, even with the best of intentions. But unless you know how to correct these mistakes, and take action quickly to do so, these mistakes can, and often do, destroy marriages. Proverbs 14:1 teaches us that a wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands. People keep making the same mistakes even though they seem to be the right thing to do. Let me give you a short list of what seems right but in reality, slowly kills the marriage and pushes your spouse further away:

1. Asking friends and family for advice – Scripture does say there is safety in many counselors (Proverbs 11:14), it also says talking too much lead to sin (Proverbs 10:19)
2. Trying to reason with your spouse
3. Promising him or her that you will change
4. Hoping or wishing the marriage will survive
5. Offering your spouse reassurance
6. Telling him or her that you love them
7. Trying to “work on” the marriage

I am not against Christian counseling but what if your spouse doesn't want to go, then what?

 

Until tomorrow...

Challenge #3

So how did everyone do with yesterday's challenge? I hope you found it pretty easy to do! I know of times past in which any words exchanged have led to confrontation, I hope no one experienced that yesterday. Is there anyone who needs to triple up on their challenges today?? Come on, be honest! :-) If you do, that is perfectly fine! But I would encourage you to start over with challenge #1. Now if you're just trying to catch up, that's alright too. Just know that these challenges are designed so that anyone coming into this can start afresh at any time, with any challenge - we are not all going to be on the same challenge on the same day (though that helps). I fully expect to see both newcomers and old timers starting over - after all, that's the whole point - to take it one day at a time. Do feel free to contact us here, on facebook, or at theMchallenge@gmail.com

Now onto today's challenge!

The past couple of days have been about what we say (and don't say) with words. Let's say "I love you" with our actions today - do something kind for your spouse today, whether you receive recognition for it or not, do it with a merry heart!

Do You Remember the Good Times?

(I will be moving this to the Pastoral Insight page)
Shared by our Pastor:

Do you remember the feelings you and your spouse shared when you first fell in love? Do you remember when it was impossible to look at each other without smiling, and just spending time alone together was the perfect night? Those were the days when you knew God’s blessings were upon you. You were happy together once. And if you were happy once, you can be happy again. Almost everyone encounters some sort of marriage problem from time to time. The reason is simple: A soldier doesn't become a soldier just by putting on a uniform. Owning mechanic tools doesn't make you a mechanic either. In almost every job skill you have to have some sort of formal training. Just because you went to the altar and said your vows doesn't make you the husband or wife God wants you to be. You’ve been given practically no training! Sure, you may have done some basic pre-marital counseling, and you’ve possibly read your Bible or heard a few sermons on the subject, but how do you put together and apply all the bits and pieces you’ve learned in the midst of your current difficult situation? Is it truly possible things could ever change? When your prayers feel like they’re bouncing off the ceiling, what would God have you do? Yes, there is basic common knowledge that has been given to us over time in fragments, sayings, warnings, rules, recommendations etc. But, in every other area of human development we are given some sort of formal training. In high school we were educated about everything: health, science, literature… but no one ever explained marriage. God's Word has the instructions and all the answers to your questions concerning marriage. Stay tuned for another part tomorrow, God willing. God Bless!

The Goal Behind the Challenge

Our ultimate goal is to have a better marriage!
In the meantime, we would love to get as many people as possible in on this challenge with us!

There really is strength in numbers and it helps to know that you don't have to go it alone. There are other married couples out there that experience the same trials and struggles that you do. The hope is to unite many of us so that we may gain insight, encouragement, and strength from eachother on this quest for a better marriage.

-Taking it one day at a time

Marriage Challenge #2 (and yesterday's challenge follow-up)

A couple of you had questions or difficulties with yesterday's challenge. That's quite alright - that's why we're taking it one day at a time! If you were able to complete yesterday's challenge in speaking softly to your spouse: kudos to you! If you were not able to complete yesterday's challenge, we can try it again today!!!

"Speaking softly" does not simply mean not raising your voice to your spouse (which is what some of you were worried about). It also means not speaking "grievous words," meaning: don't say anything bitter, don't stir up strife, don't start any arguments, don't be negative, and NO ATTITUDES! This includes watching your tone of voice everyone. So if you thought you completed yesterday's challenge, but in reading this, saw that you actually didn't - we're going to try it again today. No raising your voice, no negativity, no arguments, no attitudes or "tones" - only soft answers, which are easy on the ears! :-)

Now, for those of you who worked your buns off whether it was difficult or easy for you, you made sure not to do any of those things above - we will move on to today's challenge, challenge #2.

Today's challenge could be considered simple or complex - it all depends on how your current relationship is with your spouse. But regardless of how your relationship is, today we are going to encourage our spouses. Be sure to say something encouraging to your spouse today. Try not to let the whole day go by without completing this challenge! We all need to hear some words of encouragement every now and again and there is no better person to receive them from than the person you dedicated your life to.

Do feel free to combine yesterday's challenge with today's if you are performing a do-over! :-)

A Happy Marriage IS An Option

(I will be moving this to the Pastoral Insight page)
Posted by our pastor:

My wife and I will celebrate 42 years of marriage February 14, 2012. I can't imagine what life would have been like without her by my side, in the good times and the bad. We have a great marriage relationship that I hope can be a pattern for others. It's sad to say but the majority of marriages today are like: you wake up one day and your once blissful marriage is shattered. The spark is gone and ...your spouse wants nothing to do with you. You thought that once you said, “I do,” your common faith would keep you together, but now you’re not so sure. The Scriptures teach us a lot about how we should treat one another within a Christian Marriage: For example, Ephesians 4:32 says: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” And Ephesians 5:33 reads: “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” But do these commands still apply if your spouse is not submitted to the Lordship of Christ? And what if they are even ready to walk away from your marriage? It might be that they apply all the more! We all know there’s no such thing as a perfect marriage, although some marriages may appear that way. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses. In John 16:33 Jesus said, in this world we would have tribulations or trials. The truth is, that statement applies to our marriages too. But Jesus finishes this statement by saying, Take heart, I have overcome the world. A happy marriage is a very real option, and God is honored when we have happy, healthy marriages. Through the Scriptures and a little help you can re-ignite the passion in your once happy marriage. I think I'll stop here and continue in another post or two!
God Bless

Marriage Challenge #1

For many of you, this will be your very first marriage challenge.

Let me start by saying that I admire your willingness to take a step towards having a better marriage. It IS possible!

Today we're going to keep it simple!

Remembering that "A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger" (Prov 15:1) today let's challenge ourselves to "speak softly" to our spouses. I realize that this may be more difficult for some than for others, that's why it's a challenge!

How This Blog Came To Be

At our church, we attend a Sunday School class called "Marriages For Life." On Facebook, I began posting (pretty much daily) words of inspiration for our group along with a challenge for the day on how we can help to improve our marriages. That became the inspiration for this blog! I thought about all the people who are not in our group and the many who don't go to our church - surely there are many MANY people in the world who would enjoy the benefits of participating in this challenge to a better marriage.

I realize that most people do not experience the true joy of marriage because they are too focused on circumstances. I'm here to encourage you guys to live in the moment and to take your marriage day by day. As you have better moments and better days, before you know it you will be living in the marriage you've always wanted!

Sounds simple right? Too good to be true? Just try it and see how it works for you!